Calm on the outside, raging chaos gremlin on the inside — this “My Daily Goal Is to Appear Calm While Mentally Throwing Everything Off a Metaphorical Cliff” hoodie is for the masters of silent spiraling and internal dramatic exits. If you’ve ever nodded politely while mentally flipping tables, this one’s your uniform.
Perfect for the emotionally exhausted, mentally over-caffeinated, and anyone who keeps it together on the surface while their inner dialogue is auditioning for a villain monologue. Wear it when you're functioning like a responsible adult… but also plotting the downfall of every inconvenience and inconvenience-provider in a 10-mile radius.
• Ultra-soft, cozy fabric to soothe your secretly simmering rage
• Relaxed unisex fit for maximum comfort during silent internal breakdowns
• A must-have for overthinkers, quiet-quitters, and polite-people-with-violent-thoughts
• Relatable and hilarious gift for anyone who smiles while mentally hitting “delete” on humanity
| LENGTH (inches) |
WIDTH (inches) |
| S |
27 |
20 |
| M |
28 |
22 |
| L |
29 |
24 |
| XL |
30 |
26 |
| 2XL |
31 |
28 |
| 3XL |
32 |
30 |
