Funny, bold, and unapologetically real. The “I’M NOT OLD. I WOKE UP, I LIFTED MY ARMS, I MOVED MY KNEES, TURNED MY NECK… I EVERYTHING MADE THE SAME NOISE. I CAME TO A CONCLUSION: I’M NOT OLD, I’M CRISPY” t-shirt is a hilarious celebration of aging with attitude. It’s perfect for anyone who embraces life, laughs at the aches, and refuses to take themselves too seriously.
Made for those who know that getting older doesn’t mean slowing down—it just means leveling up in crispiness, humor, and charm.
• Soft, breathable fabric for all-day comfort
• Relaxed, unisex fit with a casual, witty vibe
• Durable, high-quality print that lasts
• Ideal for everyday wear, gifting, or sparking laughs wherever you go
| Size guide |
S |
M |
L |
XL |
2XL |
3XL |
| Length (inches) |
28 |
29 |
30 |
31 |
32 |
33 |
| Width (inches) |
18 |
20 |
22 |
24 |
26 |
28 |
| Chest (inches) |
34–37 |
38–41 |
42–45 |
46–49 |
50–53 |
54–57 |
