A little glitchy, a little sassy, and entirely relatable — this “I Don’t Wake Up Gracefully, I Reboot With Sarcasm and Emotional Buffering” hoodie is for the ones who start their mornings like a system update: slow, chaotic, and full of personality.
If you’ve ever opened your eyes and needed a moment (or twenty) before becoming a functioning human, this cozy layer gets you. It’s humor, honesty, and attitude wrapped into one perfectly comfy package.
• Ultra-soft, midweight fleece that makes waking up slightly less painful
• Relaxed unisex fit — ideal for groggy mornings, late-night scrolling, and everything in between
• Perfect for home, work, coffee runs, or any situation where your sarcasm loads faster than your patience
• A funny, relatable gift for anyone who’s not a morning person… and not planning to become one anytime soon
| LENGTH (inches) |
WIDTH (inches) |
| S |
27 |
20 |
| M |
28 |
22 |
| L |
29 |
24 |
| XL |
30 |
26 |
| 2XL |
31 |
28 |
| 3XL |
32 |
30 |
